48

what goes around comes back around, we've heard it over and over. from time to time things change and it makes you think. it makes you change your mind. what was once love, becomes hate. what was once home, becomes just a place. and that's when you need to pack your feelings and start looking for a new “where” to call your own.

47

just wake up this morning and while i was having breakfast, there was this report on television talking about some schools over here that doesn't offer a library service for their students, which led to the anchors to talk about the new ways or reading using tablets and what the brazilian libraries are digitizing their books in order to make things easier for people that needs to do a research of any sort. by the time the started talking about the British Library being a great one, so I decided to take a loot at it to see what it was like, well, it's been 45 min since I started reading about the Tudor's history, specifically Henry VIII (yeah, the king that had 6 wives and had two beheaded). I really think british history is so amazing, so many great stories, I'm having a blast learning about this and I'm intending on learning a little bit more about it everyday, which is great because it makes me spend less time on social network sites that are pretty worthless and has nothing to add, intellectually speaking. I really miss studying something.

46

Quoting Elliott Smith's song: "it's all about taking the easy way out". it's a shame that people think that way (I'm not referring to Elliott's), I somehow feel like everyone would love to get things done their own way, without even thinking about other people's feeling. I have been through a really hard time since '08 and people think it's easy but it isn't, it's actually the hardest thing I've yet to complete, but I know I'm capable of doing it, otherwise I'd had just stopped myself from the very beginning. So, for the ones that think I'm just a loser and I'm never going to get over it, here's what I think you should know: your bad influence only leads me to reach what I'm willing to do and prove to all of you people that I am worth it, that I can do anything I want to, that I'm a WINNER.

45

And I feel so pathetic for thinking this. I mean, it’s been so long, and clearly you have moved on to a new lifestyle entirely. The drugs and the drinking and the friends and Arizona in general. I don’t understand it. There is a part of me that feels that you’re retaliating against the life you had in Connecticut. Whether that’s your father or your mother, or something else entirely. And that’s fine if that is what you have to do. But its unnecessary and it’s scaring me. I fear for your life every day, and I’m dreading the day when I get a phone call that tells me you’re gone. But the way you’re going, I think a part of me wouldn’t even be surprised.

44

watching big brother and listening to carissa's wierd, trying to decide which class to take in uni.

43

now i'm waiting for the pain to pass